Have you ever been kissed by a dog? Ever had to eat Vegemite off your sister's big toe? Have you had a job delivering teeth? Has a bloodthirsty magpie ever been out to get you? Ever woken up to discover that everything hovers? And have you eaten 67 hot dogs in 10 minutes? I have. I'm Tom Weekly. This book is full of my stories, jokes, cartoon characters, ideas for theme park rides, and other stuff I've made up. It's where I pour out whatever's inside my head. It gets a bit weird sometimes, but that's how I roll.